Funny Quotes For Nurses To Make Them Laugh

Looking For funny quotes for nurses? Nursing is indeed a very noble job. It’s also sometimes hectic, so how about making a nurse you know laugh a little bit.

Dag Hammarskjold rightly said ” Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon.” A good nurse not only take care of us in our hard times but also  fights for human rights or to make this world a better place.

Here I’ve collected some of the best funny quotes for nurses to make them laugh and gave a tribute to them in a humorous way because nurses are the heart of healthcare.


Funny Quotes For Nurses



  • Don’t mess with me — I get paid to poke people with sharp objects.


  • Nurses: Cute enough to stop your heart, skilled enough to restart it!


  • Treat your nurse well. ‘I can walk as slow or as fast as I choose to retrieve that pain medication you requested.


  • Sorry, honey. Mommy is a nurse, so you only get to go to the doctor if you’re dying.


  • Wives are young men’s mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men’s nurses.


  • Be nice to your nurse, they’re the person who chooses your catheter size.



  • Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell.


  • The only chance I got to sit down today was on the toilet. Really nurses are very busy


  • A new nurse comes in with the perfect hair and makeup. An old nurse comes in and is just glad to be there.



  • Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors, nurses in charge… or patients.


Read more: Hilariously Funny Quotes About Insurance


Funny Nursing School Captions



  • Nursing: Expose yourself to rare, exotic and exciting new diseases!


  • Sleep all day Nurse all night.


  • Not all superheroes wear capes


  • Spend years learning to ba nurse. Stop asking when I’m going to become a doctor.


  • While that’s correct… it’s not the most correct. This is nursing school.


  • Save one life, you’re a hero. Save one hundred, you’re a nurse.


  • Don’t mess with her, she gets paid to poke people with needles.


  • Nursing is not a career… it’s a post-apocalyptic survival skill


  • Since I started nursing school, I get less sleep at night than you get during a nap.


  • Nursing student – Hand sanitizer has started to become your best friend.


  • Nursing school is a lot like giving birth… once it’s over, you just tend to forget just how painful the process really was.


  • Nursing school: where your classmates see you more than your family.


  • How many nurses does it take to screw a light bulb? None – it’s delegated to the nursing students.


  • Nursing student – You love your scrubs so much that you wish you could wear it all day.


  • Love my no-nonsense nurse


  • Self-care deficit r/t being a nursing student.


Read more: Funny Quotes for Friends


Funny Quotes About Nurses


  • Code Brown does not mean that your patient brought you a box of chocolates.” (Code Brown = Patient needs to be cleaned up from their bowel movement.)


  • You can’t cure stupid, but you can sedate it.



  • Be nice to nurses, they prevent doctors from accidentally killing you.


  • Be nice to me. I dispense the happy pills.


  • How is it that waitresses refill drinks and get tipped 15%, but I clean up poop, scrub feet, wash hair, provide medicine and keep people alive and still get yelled at?


  • Nursing friendships are a different kind of love; like, ‘I’ll hold the butt cheeks while you clean the butt crack’ kind of love!


  • Nursing: Where else can you experience the thrill of having total strangers poop in front of you like it’s totally your business?


  • Laughter is not the best medicine … Propofol is!


  • What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? “Some butthole has my pen!


  • No lunch for me. I’m on a new diet called “ The RN diet


[ Read More: Funny Quotes About Health And Healthcare 2020 ]


Funny Nursing Quotes



  • Would you like to talk to your Doctor or the nurse who actually knows what’s going on?


  • A man who want pretty nurse must be the heart patient.


  • A new nurse worries that the patient might die. An old nurse knows that there are worse things than dying.


  • You can’t cure stupid, but you can sedate it.


  • I get to wear pajamas to work everyday, jealous?





  • Be patient with patients who are not patient.


  • I love being a nurse, but I mostly love wearing scrubs. They’re basically professional pajamas.


  • Gotta pass the pills to pay the bills!


  • Do you want to speak to the doctor in charge…. or the nurse that knows what’s going on


[ Read More: Funny Quotes About Baby For Parents ]


These were the best funny quotes for nurses. Share this with a nurse, a doctor or a friend who’s studying in a nursing school. This will surely put a laugh on their faces.

I hope you like these quotes and funny nursing school captions. Share these quotes with your friends and leave a comment with your favorite funny quotes for nurses below.

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