Funny Quotes About Baby For Parents


Looking for funny quotes about baby to make new parents laugh? These funny baby quotes and sayings about parenting and family life from a variety of famous people to brighten the new parents’ day when writing your baby congratulations card.


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Funny Quotes On Baby

Funny Baby Quotes And Sayings

Funny Baby Quotes For New Parents

Funny Baby Quotes For Cards

Funny Baby Quotes For Twins

Funny Quotes About Baby



  • Before I got married I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theories. John Wilmot


  • A toddler can do more in one unsupervised moment than most people can do all day…


  • Always kiss your children goodnight—even if they’re already asleep. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


  • The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.  Lane Olinghouse


  • Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful.



  • A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother. Mark Twain


  • A baby’s cry is precisely as serious as it sounds. Jean Liedloff


  • An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. Queen Victoria


  • Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life.   Yiddish proverb


  • I thought I’d never be that annoying person, but as soon as Winnie was born, I was showing iPhone snaps to a cab driver. Jimmy Fallon


  • A perfect example of minority rule is a baby in the house. – Milwaukee Journal



Also Read: Funny Bridal Shower Quotes For Cards 2020 ]



Funny Baby Quotes And Sayings




  • A lot of people will tell you advice like “sleep when the baby’s sleeping.” It’s a good recommendation unless the baby sleeps when you’re driving!


  • Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other. Ed Howe


  • People who say, they sleep like a baby, usually don’t have one. Leo Burke


  • I’d love to be a Pinterest mom. But it turns out I’m more of an Amazon Prime mom.


  • Life doesn’t get more real than having a newborn at home. Eric Church


  • A baby is a blank check made payable to the human race.


  • Having a baby is one of the most wonderful things in your life, as well as the hardest thing in your life.  Nuno Bettencourt


  • Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.  Mark Twain


  • A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.  Ralph Waldo Emerson



  • A two-year-old is a kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld


  • Being a mom means kids banging on the bathroom door like SWAT, asking for a drink, while you’re in the shower. And Dad is in the kitchen.



Funny Baby Quotes For New Parents


  • A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.


  • Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. Carol Burnett


  • The hardest job facing kids today is learning good manners without seeing any. Fred Astaire


  • Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare. Ed Asner



  • When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: ‘Fetch!’. Bruce Lansky


  • I didn’t know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child. Loretta Lynn


  • Children reinvent your world for you.  Susan Sarandon


  • The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing. Kin Hubbard


  • I don’t know why they say “you have a baby.” The baby has you. Gallagher


  • Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.


  • Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. Shannon Fife


Funny Baby Quotes For Cards



  • Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! May he/she grow up to be as funny as you!


  • Congratulations on the successful combination of your DNA.



  • Parenthood is the only place you can experience heaven and hell at the same time. Congrats super mommy/daddy!


  • You made a tiny human. Congratulations.


  • Welcome to parenthood! Now you should skill up know how to sing lullabies and follow the stories!


  • Congrats on the little Ass kicker.


  • Now your world is about to change. A new baby will make your love stronger, home happier, days shorter, nights longer and bank account emptier. Best wishes for the future!


  • May your days be filled with screaming, crying and diapers full of poops.


  • Congratulations new parents! Now you can talk loud to yourself in public and people don’t look at you like you’re crazy. Wishing you happy moments with your little boy/girl!


  • A baby laugh is an angel voice.


  • Your horoscope suggests that you have a busy few months ahead. Diapers to change and rejection to clean… Congrats and enjoy the ride!


  • You will be constantly asked if your baby sleeps through the night. Tell them you don’t know, because you spend nights out clubbing…!



Funny Baby Quotes For Twins



  • It’s double the giggles and double the grins, and double the trouble if you’re blessed with twins.


  • There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. Josh Billings


  • There’s two to wash, two to dry; There’s two who argue, two who cry; There’s two to kiss, two to hug; and best of all, there’s two to love!


  • You used to have time. Now you have twins! unknown


  • Twice the blessing, twice the fun. Two miracles instead of one!


  • Twins. God’s way of saying “One of you is a rough draft.


  • We made a wish. And two came true


  • You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.


  • Two little blessings, sent from above. Twice the smiles, twice the love.



  • Twins. God’s way of saying “Buy one get one free.


  • Haha! You didn’t get lunch because mommy thought I was you and fed me twice!


  • There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. Josh Billings


These were the best funny quotes about baby for new parents on their new bundle of joy to make a new phase of life more enjoyable. It is rightly said that “Parenthood is the only place you can experience heaven and hell at the same time.”

Hope you enjoy these funny quotes about babies. Share your favorite quote in the comment section below.

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